i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we're making bets on your personal life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
