high people should be assigned attendants
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
