Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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