if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
