I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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