I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
