You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
