She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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