I wanna passion pit in your ass
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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