There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
