So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
