awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
