I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
