that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
