I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
