My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
