i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
