the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
