I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
