Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
