Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
