from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
PANTIES FOUND
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