Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
