Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
how drunk are you?
Several
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
