i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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