All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
