I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
