We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
