Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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