That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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