I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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