Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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