in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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