question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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