Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
