i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
