their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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