Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You took a bar mat shot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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