I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
