I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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