I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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