Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
