I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think people are normalizing furries
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
