We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sorry about my life...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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