you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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