well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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