no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize