and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
