we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
