And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
