Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dignity is for republicans.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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