dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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