IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
