Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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