I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He felt like a one man threesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
