so that wasnt chicken after all
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
