i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
