so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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