Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
